Up on the housetop reindeer pause,
Out jumps Good Old Santa Clause
Down through the chimney with lots of toys
All for the little ones, Christmas joys
But wait. How in the world does Santa go down through the chimney with lots of toys for the 59.97% of homes that don’t have fireplaces? Most of Santa’s story seems feasible. It’s entirely believable that one human can fit gifts for every boy and girl in the world into his compact car-sized sleigh. I buy that he has flying mammals that get him from the North Pole, smack in the middle of the uninhabited Arctic ocean, to every home on the globe in one night, despite the ridiculous cost of traveling on a holiday. But getting into homes that don’t have fireplaces? Malarkey.
We asked some of the most knowledgable elves we know for their incite on what Santa does in this sort of predicament. Here are a few of the ways Santa creates custom fireplaces to deliver toys to good little girls and boys who don’t have chimneys to hang their stockings with care:
- The Transforming Furniture Trick
The magic that gets St. Nick down the fireplace can sometimes be transferred to similar shaped furniture within the household. If the house has a large enough refrigerator, it makes a good conductor of Christmas magic. Otherwise, Jolly ol’ St. Nicholas can spread his Christmas cheer via the cabinetry, or sometimes even through the closets. The access point that Santa Clause uses to bring toys for girls and boys depends on the design of their home and the best catalyst for Christmas glee within it.
- The Owner-granted Entry Point
Sometimes, children without fireplaces understand that their homes create particular challenges for Santa to do his job on Christmas Eve. In these cases, they might send a special letter to the North Pole in advance with instructions for how he can magically get into the home to leave their special gifts. This might entail a magical key that only works for mythical holiday creatures. It might even instructions to get through the duct work (albeit an unconventional method, but not much different than coming down the chimney, when you think about it). The important thing in this situation is that the child includes arrangements for where Santa can find the milk and cookies without the centralized point of a fireplace.
- The Power of Technology
Sometimes, when a child lives in a fortress that is impenetrable to all of Santa’s Christmas tricks, he leverages the magic of modern technology. Have you ever wondered how a video of a cat doing something silly can leave your cellphone, travel all the way to a satellite in outer space, and then falls at the speed of light back to earth, reaching the cellphone of the exact person you intended it to go to, in perfect condition? We call that magic. The kind of magic that Santa uses when he must get his Christmas gifts to boys and girls who have no traditional means available.
How does Santa reach your Christmas tree? Do you know any other little-known facts about Jolly Ol’ St Nick? Please share them in the comment section below.